Maid of Honor (or Chief Bridesmaid) Checklist: Every Task, Every Timeline

Being asked to be maid of honor (or chief bridesmaid, if you're in the UK, Ireland, AU, NZ or South Africa — same job, different title) is flattering and slightly terrifying. There's no job description and the consequences of forgetting things are public. So here's the actual job description: every task you're responsible for, when it needs to happen, and what's optional vs essential — whether you're throwing a bachelorette weekend, a hen do, or some hybrid of the two.

What the maid of honor actually does (the short version)

Strip away the fluff and the MOH role is four jobs:

1. Bachelorette/hen-do organiser. Lead planner. Roughly 30 hours of work over 2 months.
2. Bride emotional support. First call when she's stressed about her future MIL or her dress fitting. Roughly 0-100 hours depending on the bride.
3. Bridesmaid coordinator. Translator between the bride and the rest of the bridal party. About 5 hours of group-chat moderation.
4. Day-of point person. The person the photographer/florist/officiant hands stuff to when they can't find the bride. Roughly 4 hours on the day.

Everything else (the speech, the gift, the dress) is optional or supporting. These four are the core.

3-6 months out: Foundation

• Confirm what the bride actually wants from her bridal party. Have an explicit conversation — "tell me what your dream version of this is, and what you definitely don't want."
• Get the bridesmaid group together for the first time (in person or video). Get everyone's contact details, ring sizes (for matching gifts), and dress sizes if doing matching outfits.
• Set up the bridesmaids WhatsApp group. Add everyone. Pin a message at the top with the bride's wedding date.
• Discuss the bachelorette/hen-do format with the bride: dates, type (weekend away vs single night vs spa day), rough budget she's expecting per guest.
• Start a shared notes document or Google Doc with: bachelorette plans, bridal shower plans, hen do plans, gift ideas. Share it with the bridesmaids only — not the bride.

2-3 months out: Bachelorette planning

This is the biggest single block of work. Our 30-day bachelorette plan covers the timeline in detail, but here's where it fits into the wider MOH role:

• Send save-the-dates for the bachelorette weekend.
• Lock in accommodation. Get a deposit from each bridesmaid by month 2 to confirm.
• Pick the theme with the bride's input.
• Build the shopping list for decor, outfits, drinkware, props and favours.
• Plan the itinerary day-by-day.

If the bride is having a bridal shower as well as a bachelorette, those are separate events with separate guest lists. The shower is usually closer to the wedding (1-2 months out) and includes family and older friends; the bachelorette is just close friends.

1 month out: Bachelorette execution + bridesmaid coordination

• Order all decor and favours for the bachelorette. Use The Bach Lists if you haven't already — it batches everything by retailer so you place 4 orders, not 30.
• Confirm bridesmaid dresses are ordered, alterations booked, accessories chosen.
• If you're giving a speech: draft it now. Don't write it the night before.
• Book hair and makeup for the wedding day for everyone (most salons book up at this point).
• Start collecting from each bridesmaid for any group gift to the bride.
• Final headcount confirmation for the bachelorette.

The week of the wedding

• Pack two emergency kits: a bridal-party one (deodorant, plasters, hairspray, mini sewing kit, painkillers, mints, tampons, safety pins, stain remover wipes, lip balm, tissues, water bottles) and a bride-specific one (her favourite snack, her phone charger, a backup veil/comb if doing pinned, her vows, the rings if she's holding them).
• Confirm timings with everyone in the bridal party. Group message with hair appointment times, ceremony time, photo time.
• Pick up the bride's dress (or know who is) — usually the day before.
• Make sure the bride eats and sleeps. Genuinely. The single biggest day-of regret is "I was too nervous to eat breakfast."

Wedding day: The 6 things that ONLY you can do

Day-of, the planner handles the venue, the photographer handles photos, the florist handles flowers. You are responsible for these specific things and nobody else can:

1. Be physically near the bride from the moment she wakes up. Even when she says she's fine. Especially when she says she's fine.
2. Hold her phone, her bag, and her champagne flute at any point during photos when her hands need to be empty.
3. Fluff her dress and adjust her veil before every formal photo. The photographer notices. The bride doesn't realise. You do.
4. Make sure she eats during the reception. Brides are notorious for not eating at their own weddings because everyone wants to talk to them. Bring her food. Sit with her while she eats it.
5. Watch the timeline. If the venue says cake at 9pm and it's 8:50pm, you find the bride and groom and tell them. Nobody else will.
6. Hand the dress off properly at the end. Whoever is steaming/cleaning/storing the dress, you know who it is and you make the handoff happen before the bride gets in the car.

What to skip if you're overwhelmed

The MOH role has expanded ridiculously over the last decade. Some things people will tell you you "have to" do, but you genuinely don't:

• Wedding-day Pinterest moodboards. The bride has her own.
• Hand-calligraphed bachelorette invites. A WhatsApp message works.
• Personalised hen-do hangover kits. Pre-made ones from our shopping lists are fine and cost less.
• Welcome bags for the wedding. Unless the bride explicitly asked for these, they're a wedding-industry invention.
• A speech AND a toast AND a slideshow. Pick one.

What you can't skip: showing up consistently, doing the bachelorette properly, and being calmly competent on the day. That's the whole job.

Build the bachelorette part now

The biggest single time-sink in the MOH role is bachelorette planning, and it's also the bit the bride will judge you on most. Build a complete shopping list in 5 minutes — palette-matched, sized for your guest count, priced in your currency. You'll save the 8 hours of Pinterest-scrolling that would otherwise happen this weekend.